WAV files from "The Adventures of Brisco County Jr."

We're longtime fans of the (now-defunct, alas) TV show "The Adventures of Brisco County Jr." The show has lots of great sound bites, so I was surprised to find so few in my web searches. And disappointed too, because the ones I found weren't really the ones I was interested in. So I figured I'd have to record the ones I wanted for myself. And as long as I was at it, I figured I might as well pull other ones I liked. Here's what I have after having been through 25 of 27 episodes.

[ Brisco | Bowler | Dixie | Wickwire | Pete | Bly | Dialog | Other ]

Brisco: The classic Brisco saying is (in my opinion) "Very fancy." Of course, you can't really have Brisco without including his talking about "the coming thing" and talking to (and with) Comet.

• coming5.wav - "Don't you sense it? The coming thing...." (episode: Pilot) (30K)
• comin2b.wav - "The coming thing" (episode: Pilot, on seeing the Professor's rocket) (5K)
• dhdcom3.wav - "The coming thing" (episode: Deep in the Heart of Dixie, re: phonograph) (5K)
• reno3.wav - "The coming thing" (episode: Wild Card, re: Reno) (6K)
• blbcom3.wav - "Now, this is the coming thing!" (episode: Bad Luck Betty, re: rain bath) (9K)
• pifancy3.wav - "Very fancy." (episode: Pilot, after opening sample case) (8K)
• pifanc2b.wav - "Very fancy." (episode: Pilot, after hearing Dixie's meeting her boyfriend) (8K)
• fancy2.wav - "Very fancy." (episode: Socrates' Sister, meeting her) (8K)
• b4dfanc3.wav - "Very fancy." (episode: Brisco for the Defense, on seeing the lab) (29K)
• chfancy3.wav - "Aha, very fancy." (episode: Crystal Hawks) (14K)
• shfancy3.wav - "Aha! Very fancy." (episode: Steel Horses, re: the Schwenke sisters' act) (8K)
• hrfancy3.wav - "Very fancy." (episode: Hard Rock, re: "day glasses") (9K)
• bdfancy3.wav - "Very fancy." (episode: Brooklyn Dodgers, re: child's locket) (8K)
• bbfancy3.wav - "Oh, very fancy." (episode: Bye Bly, re: Soc working for the government) (7K)
• wcfancy3.wav - "Very, very fancy." (episode: Wild Card, re: sister act) (8K)
• nzfancy3.wav - "Very fancy." (episode: Ned Zed, re: seeing Bowler in his bed) (10K)
• longrid3.wav - "C'mon Comet, we've got a long ride ahead of us." (episode: Pilot) (24K)
• cmonboy3.wav - (to Comet) "C'mon boy." (episode: Pirates) (15K)
• cmon2b.wav - (to Comet) "C'mon boy." (episode: Brisco for the Defense) (11K)
• cmoncom3.wav - "C'mon Comet! C'mon boy!" (episode: Showdown) (6K)
• ht2miss.wav - "Hey, Comet, how ya been? Yeah, good, nice to see you too. Alright, alright, now just stop it--you're embarassing me. Ho ho, yes." (episode: High Treason 2) (95K)
• plan4.wav - "All you did was tell him the plan. There's a real basic thing about being a good guy, Whip: you don't tell the bad guy your plan!" (episode: Hard Rock) (35K)
• nitem3.wav - "I'm going to have nightmares about this for the rest of my life!" (episode: Ned Zed) (33K)

Bowler: In my opinion, Bowler's classic line is "Damn!" He also has a great way with monosyllables and other grunts.

• pdamn4.wav - "Damn!" (episode: Pilot, on seeing Brisco go by on rocket) (12K)
• osdamnb.wav - "Damn!" (episode: The Orb Scholar, on being pulled away from dinner by bad deputies) (3K)
• osdamn2b.wav - "Damn." (episode: The Orb Scholar, after a failed attempt to get the jail keys) (6K)
• nmldamn3.wav - "Damn!" (episode: No Man's Land, on failing to get the tank) (3K)
• dhddamn3.wav - "Damn." (episode: Deep in the Heart of Dixie, on being advised Brisco won't share Dixie with him) (3K)
• chdamn3.wav - "Damn." (episode: Crystal Hawks, after she kisses Brisco) (3K)
• shdamn3.wav - "Damn." (episode: Steel Horses, after being blown away by dynamite) (3K)
• bhcdamn3.wav - "Damn." (episode: Bounty Hunters Convention, after losing bet to Brisco) (2K)
• ddddamn3.wav - "D-d-d-d-damn." (episode: Bounty Hunters Convention, after being hit with stun gun) (12K)
• ht2damn3.wav - "Damn." (episode: High Treason 2, when the bad guys return) (7K)
• ohbowl4.wav - "Oh Bowler, sometimes you're so good you surprise even yourself." (episode: The Orb Scholar) (20K)
• bowllaf3.wav - "Heh heh heh heh" (episode: Socrates' Sister) (7K)
• chblaf3.wav - "Heh heh heh" (episode: Crystal Hawks) (4K)
• chbolaf4.wav - "Heh heh heh" (episode: Crystal Hawks, after Brisco's toast to her) (7K)
• akaheh3.wav - "Heh heh heh" (episode: AKA Kansas, remembering Soc and Rita) (4K)
• bdheh3.wav - "Heh heh heh." (episode: Brooklyn Dodgers, when the kids get sprayed by a skunk) (3K)
• bbheh3.wav - "Heh heh heh." (episode: Bye Bly, re: enjoyable dream) (5K)
• scheh3.wav - "Heh heh heh." (episode: Stagecoach, re: snakemeat and Socrates) (5K)
• wcheh3.wav - "Heh heh." (episode: Wild Card, re: sister act) (4K)
• bm3heh3.wav - "Heh heh heh." (episode: And Baby Makes Three, re: cute baby) (5K)
• helium3.wav - "Heh heh heh... Damn." (episode: High Treason 2, on helium) (27K)
• bowlhuh3.wav - "Huh?" (episode: Showdown) (3K)
• shhuh3.wav - "Huh?" (episode: Steel Horses, after guy talks in German) (3K)
• akahuh1a.wav - "Huh?" (episode: AKA Kansas) (3K)
• akahuh2b.wav - "Huh?" (episode: AKA Kansas, hearing Brisco's trick shot plan) (2K)
• hrhuh3.wav - "Huh?" (episode: Hard Rock, Brisco talking about Lenore) (2K)
• bm3huh3.wav - "Huh?" (episode: And Baby Makes Three, re: Li Pau philosophy) (3K)
• dhduhoh3.wav - "Uh oh." (episode: Deep in the Heart of Dixie) (5K)
• dirt3.wav - "Well, dirt talks to me, Brisco." (episode: Steel Horses) (8K)
• oops3.wav - "Oops." (episode: Hard Rock, running into a bear) (6K)
• women3.wav - "One thing about Brisco is that he's fairly reliable, but you gotta watch him with the women." (episode: Stagecoach) (21K)

Dixie: Rather than a single line, anything reminiscent of Mae West is what I consider classic Dixie.

• allwork4.wav - "All work and no play makes Brisco a dull boy." (episode: Brisco in Jalisco) (17K)
• dchoriz2.wav - (at the end of a boxing match) "That man is definitely horizontal... which ain't all bad." (episode: Riverboat) (27K)
• corkpop4.wav - (after sound of champagne cork popping) "Mmmm... I just love it when it does that." (episode: Riverboat) (30K)
• parent3.wav - "I believe in parenthood as an institution, but I'm not ready to be institutionalized." (episode: And Baby Makes Three) (30K)

Professor Wickwire: The Professor was always rambling on about something scientific.

• flux3.wav - "Man must adapt, Brisco. It's a law of nature: adapt or perish. Variables change; flux is inevitable. And I, for one, enjoy flux." (Episode: No Man's Land) (45K)

Pete: Of course, with Pete there's always the "Nobody touches my piece" stuff... but to me his real telltale line is the way he says "Hello, Brisssco."

• gonebad4.wav - "Are you telling me you've gone bad, Brisco?" (episode: Brisco in Jalisco) (19K)
• phhello2.wav - "Hello, Brisco" (episode: Socrates' Sister) (15K)
• piece3.wav - "Nobody touches my piece." (episode: Socrates' Sister) (7K)
• schello3.wav - "Hello, Brisco" (episode: Stagecoach) (12K)
• ht2hb3.wav - "Hello, Brisco." (episode: High Treason 2) (27K)
• rumors3.wav - "Rumors of my demise by perforation have been greatly exaggerated." (episode: High Treason 2) (50K)

John Bly: John Bly could give me the creeps just saying "Brisco County Jr."

• blymeet4.wav - "Brisco County Jr., at long last, we meet." (episode: The Orb Scholar) (18K)
• blybcj3.wav - "Brisco County Jr." (episode: The Orb Scholar) (14K)

Dialog: There's so much great writing on this show, it's hard to pick out just a few favorites.

• pnotch4.wav - Brisco: "What are those notches on your bedpost?" Dixie: "Ah, just a few scratches that occurred during shipping." (Episode: Pilot) (33K)
• notches2.wav - same as above, but includes background music (trailer cut) (48K)
• ppiece4.wav - Guy 1: "My god, he touched Pete's piece!" Guy 2: "Nobody touches Pete's piece." Pete: "You're touching my piece, Kansas." (Episode: Pilot) (44K)
• whoiam4.wav - Amanda: "Then who are you?" Brisco: "Brisco County." Amanda: "Is that where you're from?" Brisco: "No ma'am, that's who I am." (Episode: Pilot) (44K)
• fictitl4.wav - Brisco: "Oh, uh, Professor Ogden Coles, Lord Bowler." Bowler: "My pleasure." Coles: "That's a completely fictitious title, I assume." Bowler: "No, I just made it up." (episode: The Orb Scholar) (44K)
• dynamit5.wav - Socrates: "What about that stick of dynamite?" (BOOOM) Brisco: "What dynamite?" (episode: Brisco in Jalisco) (29K)
• hadfrnd3.wav - Brisco: "Do you even have friends?" Bowler: "Had a friend once." Brisco: "What happened?" Bowler: "Didn't work out." (Episode: Pirates) (75K)
• haveat3.wav - LaCutte (drawing sword): "Have at you!" Brisco: "Gesundheit!" (Episode: Pirates) (20K) (Interesting note about this in the episode list at TV tome.)
• joking4.wav - Socrates: "You're joking." US Attorney Breakstone: "I never joke. And I smile only occasionally." (episode: Deep in the Heart of Dixie) (17K)
• tooeasy3.wav - Dixie: "Brisco! Put me down." Brisco: "Alright. You look bad in a wig, and you were too easy to find." (episode: Deep in the Heart of Dixie) (24K)
• tellme3.wav - Comet: (snicker, snicker) Brisco: "Yeah, tell me about it." (episode: Crystal Hawks) (30K)
• shcomin3.wav - Brisco: "I'm not just out here looking for John Bly. I'm also looking for the coming thing." Bowler: "Yeah, but what is that?" Brisco: "If I knew what it was, it wouldn't be coming." (episode: Steel Horses) (36K)
• wedead3.wav - Bowler: "Brisco?" Brisco: "Huh?" Bowler: "Are we dead?" Brisco: "I don't think so." Bowler: "So we alive?" Brisco: "Looks that way." Bowler: "What the heck happened?" (episode: Steel Horses) (63K) (This exchange reminds me of the movie Cool Runnings.)
• deputy4.wav - Bowler: "Uh oh... you hit the sheriff." Brisco: "Yeah, but I didn't hit the deputy." (episode: Mail Order Brides) (31K)
• dumb3.wav - Brisco: "You're not dumb enough to shoot me now, are you, Bill?" Phil Swill: "I'm Phil, he's Bill. And I just might be dumber than you think." (episode: Mail Order Brides) (25K)
• bored3.wav - Brisco: "Bowler, what'd you have to go and do that for? I was going to talk our way out of this." Bowler: "I was getting bored." (episode: AKA Kansas) (16K)
• lafin3.wav - US Attorney Breakstone: "You'll forgive me for laughing." Socrates: "You're not laughing." US Attorney Breakstone: "Trust me. On the inside I am." (episode: AKA Kansas) (24K)
• rules3.wav - Gage: "You guys can't do this to me!" Brisco: "Aw gee Bowler, did you see anything in the rule book that says we can't do that?" Bowler: "Huh, I didn't even read the rule book." Brisco: "Hah! I guess we'll just have to make them up as we go along, huh?" Bowler: "Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha." Brisco: "Ha ha ha ha." (episode: Hard Rock) (73K)
• bdstay3.wav - Bowler: "Stay here with your sister. You move, you answer to me!" Tommy: "I got no problem with that." (episode: Brooklyn Dodgers) (15K)
• nudity3.wav - Karina: "Is my nudity bothering you?" Brisco: "Oh, ah, in the strictest sense, no. But in a big picture kind of way, it makes it kind of hard to concentrate on anything but, uh... huh" (episode: Bye Bly) (65K)
• bbdamn3.wav - Bowler: "Damn." Brisco: "Now, it's just anatomy, guys." Bowler: "Yeah, and it sure looks real good on her." (episode: Bye Bly) (34K)
• eulogy3.wav - Professor Miles: "Yes, all right, when I, when I find myself in times of trouble, I say, boy, you gotta carry that weight. I am he, you are he, you are me, we are all together, speaking words of wisdom. Come togther, right now. Amen." All: "Amen." (episode: Stagecoach) (160K)
• scpiece3.wav - Pete: "You're... touching my piece." Emma Steed: "What?" Pete: "My piece! Everybody knows, nobody touches Pete's piece!" (episode: Stagecoach) (53K)
• cat3.wav - Emma Steed: "Brisco, don't worry. I'm like a cat. I've got nine lives." Bowler: "And what number you on?" Emma Steed: "Twenty-three." (episode: Stagecoach) (34K)
• share3.wav - Brisco: "Alright Bowler, I got one for you. Who was the meanest outlaw?" Bowler: "Oh, Blackbeard LaCutte, no doubt about it. Quickest draw?" Brisco: "Oooh... Umm... Utah Johnny Montana. Alright, I got a good one. Who was the smartest? And you can't count Bly, though; he was from the future." Bowler: "Hmmm.... Doc McCoy." Brisco: "OK." Bowler: "The dumbest?" Brisco: (laughs) Both: "The Swill brothers!" (episode: Wild Card) (125K)
• wclike3.wav - Dolly: (chuckles) "I like him." Bowler: "Heh." (episode: Wild Card) (13K)
• fast3.wav - Whip: "What do you think?" Dixie: "I think you ought to slow down." Whip: "I would, but I like it better fast." (episode: Wild Card) (119K)
• whipgun3.wav - Brisco: "What's going on?" Dixie: "Why, nothing. I was just playing with Whip's... gun." Whip: "She's good. She's got a real nice feel for the trigger." (episode: Wild Card) (41K)
• learn3.wav - Brisco: "You know something, Bowler? This trip has taught me something." Bowler: "What's that?" Brisco: "The more I learn, the less I know." Bowler: "Yeah, I hear ya Brisco, and I understand what ya mean." Brisco: "You do?" Bowler: "Yeah, at the rate we learning things, we won't know nothing in no time." (episode:Ned Zed) (136K)

Other: Not so much dialog, but soundtrack excerpts of interest:

• solong3.wav - Brisco: "So long!" followed by closing music (Episode: Brisco for the Defense) (107K) (good shutdown sound)

Visit the briscocounty ring at Bomis
(Check out Bruce Campbell's web site for lots of pictures; of course they're mostly of him :-)

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